Introduction – Jill Slaughter

My beloved oldest daughter J.Lucy has been perched on the highest most craggy precipice watching, staying out of the line of fire. Observant, astute, fiercely loyal, and loving. Ready in an instant to swoop down from that maintained position to protect my two other cherished daughters, and me under her gentle wings.

My daughters and I endured a mandated separation for many years when they were all quite young. J.Lucy slid into the role of emotional caretaker, the mother…

Open

The Slaughter Daughters

Tender Friendship

A Twelve Year Old Mother

Boys, and then young men certainly approached her, but she had not met the person that would unlock her protected heart…until she met Zachary.

My daughter and Zach live in Oregon. I have not met him, but I am standing behind their  love, loving them both.

I Love You Because…

His heartfelt piece will make you want to fall in love, and abandon any reservation you have about telling someone how you feel.

Under Two Palm Trees

“Loving Zachary has opened my heart – when I give more love, more love is drawn to me.”  J.Lucy Wallace

His Voice

I became a new motorcyclist this past summer. My free time was spent on the backroads and scenic byways of the Willamette Valley in central Oregon. This was the liberty I had obsessed over for nearly two years. Sunlight and exploration; open air and high speeds; while focusing on motorcycling the headchatter silenced and I could sense the beauty in my surroundings. But this in this heightened, meditative state, I realized that in an instant any number of factors could conspire to take my life. My mortality’s stark presence asked me what loose ends I had left untied. All of the unfinished goals of a life cut short ran by, they didn’t much worry me, but my duty to her was overwhelmingly present. She didn’t know that I had fallen in love with her. I met Lucy some months before and developed a crush on her quickly. In our first five-minute conversation it was plain she was brimming with intellect, curiosity, and creativity. And of course, she was undeniably stunning.

She Knows People Love Her

I wanted to talk to her all the time – the look in her eye said she had a lot to say, so if I did happen to get the chance to talk to her for the whole day, the discussion would not dry up. So I looked for every chance I could get to see her, talk to her and ask her questions. Summer offered a lot of chances to spend the day outdoors, so I took advantage. A bike ride would be a fun way to get in motion and feel the sun on our faces and to enjoy one another. We got out, and yes we did enjoy ourselves, but this was the height of allergy season and my eyes got the brunt of the pollen. I wanted to take a fork to my corneas, weep in agony and curse Eugene’s inhumanely high pollen count: but Lucy just said I could have some of her bee pollen if I came over after we finished helping our friends move. I didn’t think it would work, but I was miserable and I figured spending time with her would make me feel better than anything. We rode over to her house after our friends provided dinner in exchange for our labor. So it was just us and I was nervous. We had never afforded ourselves a real chance at talking one on one for more than ten minutes. The bee pollen was an afterthought at this point. Both of us knew that. Strong eye contact and illuminating conversation kept us until two in the morning.

Bear Hug

I sang a loud song when I rode my bicycle home that night. From that day on, I saw her and talked to her every day. Our lives grew more tightly intertwined. A natural momentum propelled us into one another’s existences. We cooked meals and asked one another heavy questions. Eye contact between us was unwavering which made my heart shake. When we walked through Eugene at night our talks shifted between lighthearted observations to philosophical dialogues.

Love Bubble

Lucy and I developed a dialectic early on which we cherish and rely on today. It’s the bedrock upon which we are able to understand one another. When the day came for me to tell Lucy exactly what I had realized on my motorcycle ride, I was petrified. But the aforementioned duty would not let me back away. We had not been officially together for very long – less than a month – so certain fears taunted me. Did she love me back? Would she reject what I felt? Would she think I was crazy and laugh at me? Of course these were irrational fears as Lucy is not that kind of woman but nonetheless they were present. I had fallen in love with her, and she needed to know. Love cannot subsist on its own; it must be shared if it is to reach its telos. I told her exactly this; “Lucy, I am in love with you.” She reciprocated.

How Do I Love Thee

The fear dissipated. We were in love with one another and it was plain. I cried. She accepted me exactly the way I am. I knew now what is was that I saw in her eyes, and she knew the same about mine. *** This is how it remains. We are in love and we tell one another every day. The current that runs through our love is the willingness to accept and to understand one another. Dialogue between us thrives and is never-ending. I didn’t know love would be this way. I know that my expectations for things in this life are incredibly high, and what Lucy and I have is beyond any expectation I could ever set for myself. Together we access more knowledge about ourselves and our souls than we could alone. And this knowledge is not composed of facts. It transcends the experiences we create. It is spiritual. We speak about this and how hard it is to believe sometimes. We were intended to find one another and fall in love. That is just how we explain it. I don’t dwell on what I had told myself in the past: that someone would not accept me if I gave myself to her. The more I give myself to Lucy, the more liberty I have in my heart. Our love grows exponentially but we know that it is already infinite.

That’s All She Wrote

Black and White photos of my daughters taken by me during a visit while separated.

Heart #1-Acrylic on floor mat – Slaughter

Unwritten Raw. I have been selected to read at Lipservice, “The most popular literary event in Miami” January 28th. Tickets on sale for “Culture Clash” www.lipservicestories.com  Hope to meet you!

HeartCamp- I will be speaking about my family’s experience with Parental Alienation – February 4, 2012 http://heartcamp.org/

DBA 2012 – I will be reading Raw January 25 www.artistsdoingbusinessas.com

Submit your raw to jill@rawcandor.com