Shortly after meeting Renda Writer I invited him to write Raw. What followed were emails and instant messages to hammer out the details of his submission. His responses were brief, cool, right on…Renda invites you into his life with his words.What follows will grip you, and move you. If you have the pleasure of knowing Renda personally you will view him differently after reading The Driver: Driven. If you don’t know him you’ll want to.

Public Grooming

As a writer, as a poet, and as a person, I’ve pretty much always tried to embrace a policy of raw candor, so I received Jill’s email about contributing an article with an eager anticipation to take advantage of this open opportunity to tell my story. It’s the story of a guy… a guy who lives out of his car and on friend’s couches.

Now… I am also the guy that has appeared on the cover of The Palm Beach Post, City Link Magazine, and The Miami Herald and has performed at the Apollo Theatre, hosted thousands of art and music events in South Florida, appeared in a few short films and commercials, and received tons of recognition and praise from both the press and the people on the whole.

I’m also the guy that has been trying since 2007 to reach this goal of performing “Half Hearted” on The Ellen Degeneres Show. And on top of all that, I’m even the guy who really and truly believes that this goal… this dream, will be reached sometime this season. I’ve got faith in the dream, and I’ve got faith in myself.

An Odd Adventure

I’ve got faith in my talents and my skills, and that’s why I have no problem speaking with the rawest of candor about my living situation. It doesn’t create much of an insecurity in me. It’s just a part of who I am. I see it as temporary, and I see it simply as part of the story. It almost feels like an “E! True Hollywood Story” in the making. It’s just a part of my life story, and I live an interesting life. I always have. It’s always been a life of adventure, interesting situations, associations with people that can only be described as “characters,” lofty goals and dreams, odd jobs, an infectious sense of drive and creativity, a continuing pattern of placing myself in roles of leadership and motivation, and a few brushes with fame and regional and national fame.

Write on the Left

My faith and my understanding of my situation allow me to tell the story of my auto-nomadic existence without seeking sympathy, compassion, or favors. I tell it to you merely as an honest account of an interesting side of me.

As an avid fan of hip-hop, and more importantly, as an intelligent listener, I often times find myself picking up on life lessons through the lyrics, and sometimes even just the titles of hip-hop songs. In thinking back to the title of a song from the 1990’s called “Money, Power, Respect” by The Lox, with Lil’ Kim and DMX, I realize that with this oversimplified analogy (which they got from the movie “Scarface”) for life really boils down to the acquisition of those three things.

Now… I’m also after the acquisition of other things besides those three, things like love, spiritual fulfillment, self-actualization, creative expression, and altruism… but when I think back to that song, and to that simple 3-prong equation for getting the most out of life, it makes me realize that I’ve got two out of three: plenty of respect and power, but not nearly enough money, which is why I live the way I do.

I’m in

I just don’t have the money right now to get a place. Unfortunately, in the arts it’s not always easy to translate your power and respect into money, especially in this economy, and especially in South Florida. Not only is it not easy, but it also definitely doesn’t happen quickly. Earlier in the article, I mentioned some of my bigger achievements, not to brag or gloat, but as a way to point out the ironic imbalance in this 2 out of 3 equation that I find myself in. My power and respect in the community have been proven, and validated by credible sources, and these accolades and resume builders have helped lead to certain opportunities that have given me some income, but it’s never consistent, and I find myself now at a real financial low point. And as broke as I am, I recently lent a friend $200 to pay his rent, and another friend $500 to help him pay some bills.

Take It

The point now is to find meaning in it, make something out of it, and move on. I can’t stop moving, and I’m moving toward my future with full control. After all, what would life be if we went through it without learning from it while we go? I’ve learned to honestly and objectively look at the pros and cons of my situation, and to use the pros to my advantage. I guess the main advantage to living the way I do is the freedom. I’ve always been a free-spirited person.

Another pro is what it does to me creatively. Constantly being in motion and on the go, always meeting new people, having that “traveling” feeling, and never really having a minute to rest keeps me pretty much locked into creative mode. I’m also not a slave to my rent, like most people that I know. At the end of the day, this is largely a character building experience. One day, when I’m rich, I’ll look back on this period of my life fondly and remember it as being a situation that really helped me to become an interesting man.

Blond hair, red lips

The cons include an immense feeling of loneliness that is literally sometimes unbearable. And let’s just say that it’s not exactly easy to date when you have no address or money. So it looks like I’ll have to put that aspect of my life on hold for a while, and that’s definitely not easy for me.

But for now, let’s just say that this lifestyle is an odd adventure and a chapter in my life that I will never forget. Sweating while sleeping with one eye open in parking lots, showering at the beach, using food stamps to buy food, freestyling while driving, videotaping myself practicing poems while driving, bonding more closely with the friends that are helping me out, and experiencing every inch of life to the fullest – it’s all part of the game. Oddly enough, I might even go so far as to recommend this life for someone, but only for a time. After too long, it will eat away at you, and you’ll be a bum.

Love, smile and one more balloon

I don’t want to be a bum, so I’m working hard on all my plans to achieve my goals and dreams and work my way out of a partially sticky situation.

“This is the strangest life I’ve ever known”

– Jim Morrison

Peace,

Renda Writer

http://www.facebook.com/rendawriter

It’s Time to Tell Me the Truth – Acrylic on Canvas – Jill Slaughter

If you would like to submit a piece for Raw Candor please contact me.