J.Lucy - "Fox"  digital self portrait

J.Lucy - "Fox" digital self-portrait

J. Lucy is my oldest daughter. She is fearlessly inquisitive, crushingly independent, and the young woman among her peers, and two sisters that people come to for insight. That is not only a description of her, it is her essence.

We speak often, so when she called me last November from school in Eugene Oregon I could tell something was off. I had no plans for a vacation, nor the funds. I arranged to take a week off from work, charged a plane ticket on my only credit card and went to see her.

A typical flight to Oregon should take about six hours. I was delayed, arriving almost twenty-four hours later in Eugene. I would have circled the sun and the moon to see my girl. This is the letter she wrote to me after that visit together. With her permission I have typed it (see below) to make it easier to read.


Dear Mom,

Thank you for venturing cross-country to see me (even if it took nearly 24 hours!) I cherished every hug, kiss and bowl of spaghetti! Thank you for turning my house into an organized home – (you have such a good eye…something I…a virtue I hope to develop someday and thank you for making, no encouraging me to incorporate stylish & simple pieces into my wardrobe. One day I will look as put together and beautiful as you do. Thank you for making me feel loved and cared for, thank you for being open & true with me. I never intend to make you feel excluded from my life, and I am sorry if my actions have made you feel otherwise. Sometimes it is difficult for me to be open & emotional because my mind tells me it is a sign of weakness. Vulnerability is uncomfortable for me. But, as I am growing up & discerning my own voice & God’s voice, I am finding it easier, & more rewarding to be emotional & honest. One day at a time… I value our relationship more than you know, and can’t wait to share more weekends like this getting to know one another better. Thank you for being the best mother I could ever dream of. I will love you always, in a way that I love no one else.


J. Lucy

PS let me know what happens w/ Roberto, & I’ll keep you posted about Alexander. I hope we at least make it to the third date so I can read the note you wrote!

Travel safe. XOXO

My oldest daughter's letter to me

My oldest daughter's letter to me

J.Lucy is twenty one years old, and attends the University of Oregon. She studies digital arts and Chinese. She manages her time efficiently and works at a groovy restaurant, plays soccer and makes time for her friends. She inspires the people around her, has a wicked sense of style and is my cherished darling daughter. J.Lucy came to Florida this past April.

The reference she makes to a note I wrote her about a third date with Alexander…well, that might show up in the category “what I know” another time.